Feeling the pressure of Christmas building? Are you once again feeling overwhelmed at the thought of being the perfect mother, partner and hostess at Christmas.  A client of mine decided enough was enough.  As a working mum she was fed up of feeling stressed and guilty at not living up to the superwoman image. She knew it was unrealistic but she didn’t know how to break the cycle. Although she said the main thing she wanted was family fun at Christmas, she was caught up in the whole homemade perfect Christmas of making lots of food, presents and decorations not forgetting hosting the huge family dinner and neighbourhood party.        

Step 1: we worked together to identify where the pressure to be this superwoman was coming from. She realised it was mainly from
herself.

Step 2: I asked how helpful it was to her and her family being this way.  It led to a stressful Christmas where she spent most of the time in the kitchen not letting anyone
help as she knew how to do it properly, resenting being so tired and then taking it out on her children and husband. Miserable.

Step 3: to focus on how to take control and change things she asked her children what they love most about Christmas together.  Funnily enough it was simple things like decorating the tree, wrapping presents together while listening to carols, making
mincepies together not watching her do it, playing family games, watching
Christmas films.  Hmm, nothing about a perfectly iced cake, beautifully decorated table with a homemade centrepiece and a recreation of Nigella’s menu!

Step 4: make a plan and include the whole family.

Step 5: ask for help. She still wanted to have a Christmas dinner for family and a party for neighbours. The difference was she planned to get people to bring things.  She said she felt confident, in control and the guilt faded away as she focused on creating wonderful childhood memories – perfect!

What are your top tips for reducing the stress at Christmas time? Please leave a comment below and let me know.

If getting rid of the worry and guilt and becoming  a confident fabulous role model for your children sounds like something you’d like for you and your family, then visit www.theworkingmumscoach.co.uk  to find out how I can help.

Flickr photo by _gee_

This article was also published in the Leamington edition of The Express Advertiser http://issuu.com/expresspress/docs/express_leamin_dec_no_bleed?mode=window&backgroundColor=%23222222